A Journey Inside The Pain

Dear Friend, 

If you have found yourself here today, reading these very words-then make no mistake-this is not a coincidence-a chance happening or a wrong click of a button. YOU-my friend have been brought here with a plan and a purpose just waiting to be discovered. 

Lets us begin with Pain-this is no ordinary word. The word Pain is universal-it is known-it is felt deeply and it is understood by all who inhabit this earthly realm. 

 We are all born into this world in Pain-first, the long endured Pain of our Mothers who labor for hours in the depths of physical Pain before bringing us forth into this life. 

Second as we begin to grow and learn the ways of this strange world we find ourselves beginning to feel and experience our own Pain. 

Pain may visit us first in the form of a cry for food, perhaps a cut or a bruise, a loss or a need going unmet. Our experience with Pain may be harsh, cruel and relentless, or it may be milder, gentler, presenting a nagging undertone. 

No matter it's form Pain sets it's mark upon every human being beginning at birth as we are pulled, pushed and forced into the uncertainty of life.  

We can all relate to Pain's touch upon our lives, be it physical, emotional, mental, spiritual or all of the above, as it is for most. 

You see no matter our back ground, race, religion or gender, no matter our age, status in life, occupation, amount of money or lack there of Pain makes it's presence known to all. 

Pain is not welcomed, it is not wanted, sought after, acknowledged or in many cases even discussed. We humans tend to hide our pain, sweeping it neatly under a rug, tucking it away deep within our being, where we think no one will ever know.

Except, is this really true? Are we really hiding our pain like we think, as we paint on plastic smiles and offer up false inquirers like "how are you today"  or "how have you been?' not really expecting or caring for an answer. 

 We learn to navigate the lives we strive to present; lives that say "oh, I'm good" doing just dandy" "nice weather today"  all while suffering inside, wishing wanting, needing to speak our truth but unable to do so. 

We stifle our pain, push it down, suppress it until even we are almost convinced that it no  longer exists. Yet it does exist, often pushing us to do and to be false, presenting fake personas, daring us to run, to hide, to pretend. 

No need to fret my dear friend as no one is set apart from the touch of Pain.

In fact, if you are here today it may be because of your own Pain; a Pain so deep, so hidden that it has scarred the depths of your heart and deadened your soul. 

You see sometimes dear friend, Pain can bring us together  just as it has in this case. I know Pain, I know her all to well, her cold glare-her jagged touch, I know her lies, her cuts, her torment. From a little child Pain was my constant companion telling me I would never escape her grasp. 

Yet through the depths of my sorrows which I will share with you I had one thing that I clung to and that was God-the creator of all that ever was-is and will ever be; and just in case you did not know-God knows Pain-just like we do. 

I invite you now to go with me on this journey-a journey of truth-a journey of hope-a journey of horror, evil and destruction. A journey in which we will no longer deny our own pain-no longer will we hide or shrink back pretending all is well. 

I invite you dear friend to face your deepest Pain, sorrow, regret, fear and darkness as I have learned it is often a journey inside the Pain, sorrow, regret, fear and darkness that we must embark upon if we are to find the healing our souls long for- lest we be set free. 

Until Next Time -"Healing Is Feeling" Dr. Carolyn Leaf